- Do you find that you are jumping through hoops to help someone else out all the time?
- Short on time because you can’t say no?
- Feel “used” because it seems you only get asked when it’s an afterthought or when it clearly is to benefit the other.
Sometimes we bend over backwards too much! Yes, be helpful! Yes, pay it forward! BUT, you don’t always have to say yes. It’s an honor to be asked to do xyz sometimes. Especially when it’s from someone you admire or a company that you really want to be seen as a leader, a doer, someone who is always willing to help. But, it can come with a price. The price is your valuable time, your hard work, and even your resources.
One of the biggest hurdles you will have to get over to be successful with this journey to saying no is, your ego. We let our ego run our decisions sometimes. People always want to feel validated, valued, and appreciated. But again, sometimes it’s to their complete benefit.
So how can you easily decide if you should say yes to this opportunity or invite? Two areas you can quickly check this against are history and your priorities.
1) History- What has been their track record with keeping you in the loop or involved all along? What has been their track record in making you feel valued, appreciated, or acknowledged all along? What has been their track record with other people? Do you know a trend that the “it girl/guy” is only invited or used? What has been their track record when it comes to honoring the doers, the leaders, the silent achievers?
Sometimes, the squeaky or shall I say, the most annoying wheel gets the oil. Don’t look at that as an honor or in jealousy, look at that as a notation of history in how X uses their best employees, leaders, or even friendships.
2) Priorities – Does this request align with your #1 priority? Do you know what your priority is? If you don’t, I heavily suggest you download or buy PUSH written by Chalene Johnson. This will quickly get you aligned on the right path and activity. Once you have identified what your daily, monthly, yearly priority is, you just have to “push” that request against it and see if it aligns.
We can easily say yes! Just to be liked, just to be seen as a leader, just to get a notch in our belt, and many other reasons. But at what cost? Does it require a ton more time from you for really nothing? Do you have to go out of your way? Do you have to hand over your hard work and resources for no compensation? Do you feel this is in the best interest of your goals and family goals?
The decision to be strong in your goals and be seen as a team player or leader has to feel good to you. You have to be confident in yourself, knowing your value and knowing you “don’t need them or this invite” to be successful in your ventures.
Stay the course, clearly know your mission and what you have to offer, and make decisions wisely. You can achieve it and do not need to be handed over a glorious invitation to be seen as a success. Just get out there, and make waves.
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